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✎ EN Advice Aupair

Discussion in 'France' started by Samantha1999, Oct 23, 2019.

  1. Samantha1999

    Samantha1999 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2019
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    City:
    Bourges
    Living In:
    France
    Nationality:
    Irish (IE)
    Languages:
    English
    Hi so I’m an Irish Aupair currently in Bourges France and have been here since August. I previously aupaired in the USA for 3 months for 2 twin 7 year olds and was happy and didn’t have any problems. I’m currently not happy with the situation I’m in and am looking for advice on what to do as at the moment I’m considering not coming back when I go home for Christmas. Here’s some backstory to the situation. I’m looking after two children a 6 year old girl and 10 year old boy I mind them in the morning before school, after school till 6pm Monday to Friday with a full day on Wednesday and occasional babysitting on Thursday evenings.The mother works not far from the house about 20 mins away and the father works from home in his study. These are some of the things that have happened since I arrived.

    -the daughter tried to strangle me by climbing up on my shoulders wrapping her legs round my neck and clawing at my neck with her nails. I didn’t provoke her I sat on her bed beside her and asked her to get changed from her pjs to clothes.
    -She previously had clawed my hands with her nails leaving them all cut up
    -Calls me imbecile and refuses to listen to me when I ask simple stuff such as brush your teeth, can I brush your hair
    -Parents don’t discipline her or her brother she didn’t get punished severely for what she did to me with my hands, neck even though my hands where covered with cuts and my neck was bruised and cut.
    -Father works from home and she always goes into his office and I can’t stop her and he gets angry with me and her and I have tried to explain I can’t stop her and it’s not fair that the brother is allowed in and she isn’t.
    -I tried talking to the father about implementing a time out system like the naughty step/chair and he said it wasn’t necessary with her
    - I have no friends here. I have tried to find people my age to talk to hang out with but no luck.
    - My salary for last month was only 188 euro for the whole of last month due to tax, them taking 30 hours out of my wage due to food and board. And I didn’t get payed for the two and a half weeks I was present with the children in August.
    -Her older brother hits her provokes her. He mocks and makes fun of me when I try and speak French and if I do something by mistake tells his father who then gives out to me and tells me I should know this.
    -The daughter comes into my room without knocking and won’t leave when I ask her my room doesn’t have a lock on it.
    -I’m not allowed to do my own laundry she does it and only does it once a week and I am used to doing my laundry 2 to 3 times a week.
    -The mum and dad are nice and they do include me for meals and if they are eating out but the behavior of the children plus the father and mother don’t listen to my requests I’m thinking on not returning when I leave to go home for Christmas but I feel guilty cause I think I’m overreacting my contract was from August 2019 to June 2020 and I’m going home the 20th of December for Christmas. If I was to not come back would giving my notice at the start of December be fair time wise for them to find a replacement before the end of the school Christmas holidays. I’m also afraid if I give my notice they will kick me out straight away. I’m not with an agency I contacted them through aupair world so I don’t have much of a safety net.
     
    #1 Samantha1999, Oct 23, 2019
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2019
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