You can also be self sufficient or self employed. In essence, you have to be able to life from your own means, and not rely on benefits.

Not quite. You would also have to show that you and your husband have enough income not to rely on public means. Since your husband is allowed to work, you can include his income in the calculation, as long as he has reasonable chances of being employed.

You can still get some of them. I think all kind of child support is ok, and working tax credit (?). You should be able to find something on these boards about the different benefits and how they are classified.

And you should consider take a slightly different approach. If you can find a job offer for your husband, you could make the case that with his income you could get off most of the benefits. Obviously the Home Office would welcome this, so maybe they would give him the visa then.